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How your eyes tell her more than your words do

I'm writing this short piece to clarify what the meaning behind eye contact and where you look during a conversation tells the person you're talking to. My goal is not to tell you what to do and when to do it but rather to just ensure that when you finish reading this you'll have a deeper understanding of what you're communicating through your eyes so you can make his own decisions about how to act and understand what the woman's body and eyes are telling you. So first: 

The difference between the two roles in a conversation

This ought to be pretty obvious stuff: at any given time in a conversation you're either the one sending out the message or recieving it. In either case what you do with your eyes (and the rest of your body) either acts to add to the message being communicated (if you're the one talking) or indicate your response to the message as you recieve it. This probably isn't an earth-shattering point, but it'll become very important in a moment. 

The cardinal rule of eye contact

What you look at = what has captured your attention. 

Once again this shouldn't be rocket science; if you're a saleman watching a potential customer in a store and their eyes linger on one particluar product then it's pretty safe to say that you ought to go over there and sell them the product. 

Now when you're in a conversation there are two different places you could look at; either at the other person's eyes or elsewhere. What you communicate in your choice of focus depends on your role in the conversation. 

When you're the one talking

When you look at the person you're talking to you communicate that your audience has your attention and that you want to make sure that you get your message sent out to them right. It also portreys that you consider yourself to be on an equal level to your recipient (see also: confidence and self-assuredness). 

On the other hand when you don't look at your target audience you communicate that you either don't consider her to be your main focus or that you don't consider yourself worthy of talking to her on an eye to eye level. Now given the latter definition one would be tempted to say that an alpha male always looks directly at whoever he's talking to. However that isn't entirely true, since not looking directly at your target could also communicate that she's not the main focus of your attention. Not looking directly at her could also be used as a way toin her signal to her that she hasn't EARNED your full attention and assert your control of the conversation when used properly. Be careful in using this though since when done improperly it shows weakness, insecurity and nervousness. 

When you're the one listening

When you look directly at someone who's talking to you you're acknowledging that the speaker is on equal (or greater) footing to you because you're showing them the respect of giving them your attention when they're talking to you. 

Conversely when you look away from a person while they're talking to you you indicate either disinterest, disrespect or that you don't consider them to be an equal. Which of these is communicated by your actions in any given situation depends on the rest of your body language. If you're acting nervous while looking away it tells her (suprise suprise) that you're nervous and disinterested in her. If you act cool and confident while looking away... she sees that you consider yourself to be superior to her and that she has to earn your attention. That sounds like alpha male behavior doesn't it? 

So a quick rundown of what you're telling her

*You're talking and looking at her: You're worth my attention. 
*You're talking and not looking at her: Something else is more worth my attention than you right now/ I don't consider myself equal to you 
*She's talking and you're looking at her: What you're telling me is worth all my attention 
*She's talking and you're not looking at her: What you've been saying up till now hasn't earned my full attention

So a quick rundown of what she's telling you

*You're talking and she's looking at you: You have her full attention 
*You're talking and she's looking away: She doesn't think that what you have to say is worth her attention 
*She's talking and looking at you: She wants you to understand what she's saying 
*She's talking and looking away: She considers herself to be dominant to you

Hope that helps someone out there.

-Goldi-

This article was first published on the Seduction Forums.

About the Author

Here at the Paragon Project we have assembled an award winning team of elite dating coaches who have each been hand selected for their particular expertise in the realm of seduction.

Working together as a team has led us to brainstorm and share revolutionary techniques, which were then field tested rigorously, refined, tested some more, then finalized into some of the most potent seduction strategies ever discovered.

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i was wondering if there is a way to hook up my computer to my stereo reciever?

i know my reciever has the rca hook ups for a cd player, but i dont see any on my tower. anyway possible to hook my tower up to my reciever so when i play cd's on my computer i will hear them on my home speakers?

yes you have a couple of options.

1. if you want 5.1 sound from your PC you need to go to Radio Shack and get an [1/8" to Composite] adapter, it looks like a headphone jack on one side and an RCA jack on the other. then just run an SPDIF (DIGITAL COAX) cable from the adapter to your receiver, your sound card should have SPDIF on the back.

2. If you want to do it easier go to Bestbuy and get a Headphone to RCA adapter. Just connect from the speaker out on your computer to R/L (red/white) in on your receiver. You'll only get stereo sound but that's not that big of a deal.

3. you can buy things called "Soundbridges" the will wirelessly stream you audio from your PC to a Reviver, but they can only do MP3, no video game sounds